Motherhood: a Most Sacred Entrustment
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
~ Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)
When we enter this world utterly vulnerable, helpless, and dependent, Krishna places us into the arms of a mother. Can there be a greater act of trust?
Whether you are a parent or not, pause for a moment and imagine entrusting your beloved child into another’s care—not for a day or a season, but for the unfolding of an entire lifetime. What deeper expression of trust could there be, for who could be more precious than one’s own offspring? What immeasurable trust the Lord places in mothers, then—to care for, love, nourish, and nurture—His very beloved parts and parcels.
A child does not survive on her milk alone. Beyond food, water, shelter, and air, a child hungers for something equally vital: connection, tenderness, belonging, delight. Modern research confirms what mothers, since antiquity, have known intuitively—that in the absence of loving connection, the human spirit withers.
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” ~ Peggy O'Mara. Motherhood: a most confidential and sacred responsibility!
And all this unfolds within a world where familial and community support has grown fragile, while shame mines abound for the other yearnings within her.
Dr. Brene Brown says, “Shame for women is “Do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.”
“Always have it together. Always be a giver…Never tell anyone you’re breaking down. Never need anyone.” ~ Emily Frost.
Ouch!
Wait…I relax into Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s playful definition of hell on Earth; being a parent and thinking that there is such a thing as a “good parent.”
Motherhood, itself, is our most fertile ground and intense crucible for spiritual purification. Our spirituality is not separate from our mothering - it is expressed and tested within it. Ultimately, mothering offers a pathway to experience nurturing as a living practice of detached love in action.
The Vedic wisdom texts reveal that it is our controllership mentality that brings us to this material world. What cruel poetry it is to discover, time and again, that even the lives fashioned within our own wombs remain forever beyond our command! Motherhood alchemizes us, unrelentingly dissolving our oppressive pursuit of perfectionism, as we learn to soften, surrender, and embrace it’s beautiful chaos. Purifying and liberating!
And yet, if all worldly relationships are ephemeral, why pour so much of ourselves into mothering?
Because Srila Prabhupada explains that one cares more diligently for a property entrusted to him, rather than one he considers as his own.
On His behalf, when I orient my body to my child’s, our eyes lock in, and I emotionally attune, providing the warm accompaniment that silently communicates—You are seen; you matter deeply; you belong unconditionally—I believe Krishna’s eternal love gets etched on his very soul.
No achievement or possession could compare to a single moment of genuine connection with my children. I can still feel the firm, desperate grip of their cotton-soft hands engulfed within mine as they took their first steps. Their wondrous first, “Mama”, still reverberates in my heart. With greying hair and aging joints, as I watch them bloom into towering young men before my very eyes, I remember how every season has carried its own tenderness—and its own ache.
And through it all, I remain profoundly grateful for the trust that has been placed in my hands. May I bask and find strength in the quiet, glowing beauty of that trust as I encounter the many joys and challenges that surely await me on this sojourn.
Dear God, I bow down, kiss the ground at Your lotus feet, and with joined palms, accept, Your entrustment in the form of these souls, like holding delicate China in my hands.
Yet, I also remain deeply humbled, mourning the many impacts these souls have borne, when, I, forgetful of this holy entrustment, have allowed the dark creeper of controllership to stifle our relationship. Oh how I long, to have had the capacity, in those moments, to have embodied a child-centric perspective, rather than being attached to evaluating their world through my adult-centric perspective! This grief breaks my heart open, and gives me impetus for repair work.
“There is nothing like parenting to show you your shortcomings and less-than-perfect places. There is no one like your own child to test your relationship ability and agility in the moment, over and over and over again. And to let you know when your walk does not match your talk. With so many mirrors held up to your humanness, there is the possibility for great learning.” ~ Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.
To those who are mothers, to those who long to be mothers, and to all those who have been shaped by the love of a mother—
Happy Mother’s Day!
From the deeply indebted heart of one who has been blessed with the upadhi of a mother in this lifetime.
