The Tip of the Iceberg

Written By Ratika Dayaldasani

Demands or requests are like icebergs. What we can see on top is only a small part of the story. Some requests are made with sensitivity to our needs and some demands might come at us while the other person is screaming obscenities.  However, the major part of the iceberg is what's underwater, what is not visible to the eyes. And that is an appeal, "Do I matter?", "Are my needs important to you?", "Do you see my humanity?"

Behind every demand or request is the beautiful plea of a human wondering, "Do I matter?"

NVC teaches us to shift our intention to connection, not to get what we want out of the exchange or relationship. If my partner has a strategy to meet their need that is in conflict with my values, NVC empowers us to cultivate the tools to separate their strategy from their need. Can we turn the conflict of our strategies into a dilemma that we solve together? Instead of the issue being a conflict between us, can we be on the same side of the table? Imagine the difference between having the problem between the two people vs. having the two people connected and looking together at the problem! With NVC, we learn to hold needs tightly and strategies lightly.

Join us as we explore a whole new possibility in relating to humans with vulnerability and transparency!

Ratika Dayaldasani

Ratika is a co-founder of The Atma Center for Empathic Leadership. She is a certified Empathic Communication Trainer and a Nonviolent Communication Certification Candidate. As Head of Human Resources at Hack the Hood, she has over 20 years of experience in nonprofit and organizational development, building and leading people systems grounded in equity, belonging, and authentic connection. She provides coaching and conducts trainings for international audiences. She is currently writing her first book, entitled, “Priti: at the Crossroads of Bhakti and Nonviolent Communication”. All this, while mothering and homeschooling her two sons, who are now teenagers. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree and a Graduate Certificate in Human Resources Management. She also brings a unique integration of mindfulness as a certified yoga teacher (RYT 200).

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Spiritual Bypassing